February was a brutal month that, at times, I thought might legit kill me. Between some really long hours at work, a 20+ hour take-home exam and other intense school deadlines, work travel and being knocked out with bronchitis for about two weeks, I didn't think I'd ever survive.



But here we are a week into March and I'm still alive, though some days I feel like a mere shell of my former energetic and fun-loving self.

As you might have guessed from my lack of blogging, free time hasn't been a thing that I've had much of lately. My life has been work, school, sleep, repeat. Basically a quest for survival.

Running has been virtually nonexistent since the 5K I did on Valentine's Day. It took weeks for my lungs to finally heal from the bronchitis and be able to handle even the walk from the Metro to my office. I considered it a success last week when I made the 10-minute walk and didn't dissolve into a coughing fit as soon as I entered my office building.

I did my first run since Valentine's Day yesterday. It was a 5K race that I'll recap in another post. My lungs held up better than I expected. But after three weeks of not running, my legs not so much.



My endurance is completely gone.

I sort of feel like I'm starting from scratch again, as if every marathon and half marathon I've ever run was in a different life time. Right now, it's hard for me to remember when I was routinely in half marathon shape, when on any given day, I could easily go out and tackle 8 to 10 miles without even thinking about it.



Oddly enough FB reminded me this morning that it was four years ago that I registered for my last marathon.

Now even three miles seems hard and something like 7 or 8 seems impossible.

I was talking to my mom about this for a while on the phone last night, and I know it's OK to sometimes take a step back from running when other things are larger priorities.

But it's still hard. Running used to be such a huge part of who I was, now, it's something I can barely find the time for. Yesterday's race made me realize how much I missed running and how much I'm coming to resent grad school for taking time away from things I truly enjoy.



I keep trying to remind myself that it's all worth it. That getting my MBA is a good move and that I only have to survive until December and then I'll be done. It's just three more classes after this semester. Realistically, it's not that much, but it seems like such a Herculean effort.

I hate that I'm basically going to have to rebuild my running endurance from scratch. That all those years of hard work I put into improving my pace and times is evaporating, and I'm basically going to be like a newbie runner again by the time grad school is over.

It's hard. It's crappy. It makes me sad.

Sorry for such a Debbie Downer of a post on a Monday.

Here's a picture of me and my new baby cousin that's adorable and cute to end this on a happier note.